Where does this repair belong?

Repair happens at more than one scale. Choose where this one lives. You can come back and choose again for a different repair later.

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🏆 Moving quickly. If you want to pause and refill instead of pushing through, there is a quieter place for that too.

Growing through pain, toward a better me

Your words, and a note or two along the way. Fills in as you go, yours to look back on.

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Your reflections will show up here as you write them.

♥

You just got specific about something that caused harm. That takes a real kind of courage, the kind that asks you to hold your own body, your own heart, with the same care you're trying to offer someone else.

Tap the heart

Even if this brought something up, staying with it is its own act of trust. Every time you're willing to trust again, including the grace you're hoping for when you say you're sorry, it makes you a little more ready to notice the pattern next time it starts, and to listen for a perspective that isn't only yours.

Before you keep going: a quieter step is here if you want it, holding some self-respect and forgiveness for being willing to look this closely at yourself.

The arena

You stepped into an arena when you got specific about the harm instead of staying safely critical of yourself from a distance. Read this once, slowly.

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat. — Theodore Roosevelt, “Citizenship in a Republic,” 1910

Optional, while you read: a music bed from the DOT model, same tracks as the homepage. Nothing plays unless you choose one; click the playing track again, or "off," to stop it.

When you're ready: Brené Brown's talk builds a whole practice around this same passage, worth your time separately from this quest.

What did it cost you to be specific instead of staying safely critical of yourself from a distance?

Optional: nothing here is graded.

Where does this repair belong?

Which part of you did this rupture involve?

AMENDS: a path of repair

That's the walk.

Growing through pain, toward a better me

The arena